η μάρω στη σουηδία

διαβάζω το βιβλίο της μάρως βαμβουνάκη με τίτλο «το φάντασμα της αξόδευτης αγάπης» και βασικά μου έχει σηκωθεί η τρίχα. είχα διαβάσει κάποια λογοτεχνικά της παλιότερα («οι παλιές αγάπες...») που μου άρεσαν, αλλά αυτό το βιβλίο είναι ελαφρώς διαφορετικό.

δεν με πειράζει κάποιος να βάζει τις εμπειρίες του σε μια σειρά και να γράφει ημιδοκιμιακά ή να εκφέρει και άποψη. αυτό που με ενοχλεί όμως (κ ενώ αρκετά από αυτά που γράφει με βρίσκουν σύμφωνο) είναι να καταδικάζει κανείς την αντίθετη άποψη.

χαρακτηριστικό κομμάτι του συγγράμματος αναφέρει:

«όχι, δεν πιστεύω πως όποιος ερωτεύτηκε αληθινά μπορεί κατόπιν να γίνει ειλικρινά φίλος με όποιον ερωτεύτηκε. δεν υποφέρεται αυτή η μετάλλαξη. είτε δεν ερωτεύτηκε αυτότ ο πρόσωπο ποτέ ως πρόσωπο, μόνο ένα σενάριο σχέσης, μια ιδέα απρόσωπη ερωτεύτηκε, είτε πρόκειται για χαρακτήρα-νεροκολοκύθα, δεν τον συγκλονίζει τίποτα, δεν τον γονατίζει τίποτα, δεν μπορεί να πονά, άρα δε μπορεί να αγαπήσει. αγαπάει μόνο τις ανάγκες του και όποιον και γι αόσο του τις καλύπτει. εναλάσσει επιφανειακές συντροφιές που αποκαλέι σχέσεις. περιφέρεται στην όψη του, δεν κατεβαίνει στην ψυχή του ούτε στους άλλου την ψυχή. χωρίζει "φιλικά", όπως διατυμπανίζει με καμάρι. αν είναι δυνατόν να χωρίσει ποτέ κανείς χωρίς πόλεμο! δίχως φρίκη, κακίες, ζήλιες, εξευτελισμό, εκδικητικότητα. δίχως όλα αυτά τα απαίσια αρνητικά συναισθήματα που οι πειρασμοί θα τον περιτυλίξουν με φλόγα, για να καεί ή να καθαρθεί. είναι μεγάλη πρόκληση πνευματικής ανάπτυξης ο ερωτικός χωρισμός, γι' αυτό και πονάει άγρια. πόνος που, σαν κάθε πόνος, ερεθίζει τον ύψιστο εγωισμό και μας καλεί να τον νικήσουμε ή να νικήσει.»

ΗΜΑΡΤΟΝ!

δηλαδή εμείς που δε χαλάσαμε τις σχέσεις μας με παλιές αγάπες, που δεν μαλλιοτραβηχτήκαμε, που δεν πετάξαμε πιάτα στον τοίχο, που θέλουμε ο ένας να ξέρει τι κάνει και πώς είναι ο άλλος (ακριβώς επειδή είμασταν σημαντικό κομμάτι ο ένας της ζωής του άλλου) και που μπορεί να έχουμε βγει και μαζί έξω μετά το τέλος της σχέσης μας, είμαστε ρηχοί? δε ζήσαμε τίποτα? περάσαμε και δεν ακουμπήσαμε? προσποιούμασταν τότε, η προσποιούμαστε τώρα? και μπορεί να να τα νιώσεις όλα αυτά τα απαίσια, αλλα επειδή δεν αρέσει της κυρίας βαμβουνάκη, δεν επιτρέπεται να τα ξεπεράσουμε?

το ανέκδοτο βέβαια εδώ, είναι ότι έχω και κοντινούς μου φίλους που δεν το καταλαβαίνουν αυτό, και με φωνάζουν «σουηδό» όταν η κουβέντα πάει σε αυτά τα θέματα!

είναι εντάξει να λες ότι «εγώ δεν μπορώ να το κάνω αυτό» ή «δεν το καταλαβαίνω», αλλά να φτάνεις στο σημείο επειδή δε μπορείς να το κάνεις ή να το καταλάβεις να λες ότι όσοι το κάνουν είναι ρηχοί, είναι αφοριστικό και φανερώνει σύνδρομο ανωτερότητας («το δικό μου είναι το σωστό, ΜΟΝΟ, και κανένα άλλο!»)

γενικά δεν έχω καταλάβει επίσης που το πάνε όλες οι αναφορές στη θρησκεία μέσα στο βιβλίο. ιδίως η ιδέα ότι ο σύγχρονος τρόπος ζωής μας επιβάλλει ενοχές (συμφωνώ) ενώ ο χριστιανισμός μας απελευθερώνει από αυτές (διαφωνώ κάθετα, ολόκληρη η θρησκεία βασίζεται στο να δημιουργήσει ενοχές στον άνθρωπο και να τον φοβίσει) είναι αντιφατικότατη. αλλά δεν συνεχίζω εδώ γιατί μακρηγορώ...θα τελειώσω το βιβλίο και θα βγάλω τελικα συμπεράσματα για την πάρτη μου.

book review: watching the english

after a couple of years or more in this country, i finally found a book - watching the english - that partially deciphers and organises all that we are trying to find out about the attitude of this strange people. a good effort on behalf of the author, kate fox, the book being both funny and informative at the same time, without being too funny or too academic at any point in time. i enjoyed every bit of it. [see a couple of these bits below].

now the question remains whether there will be anyone with the guts to write the book about greeks!

a couple of parts i found hilarious:

[...] it is common, and considered entirely normal, for english commuters to make their morning and evening train journeys with the same group of people for many years without ever exchanging a word. the more you think about this, the more utterly incredible it seems, yet everyone i spoke to confirmed the story.
'after a while', one commuter told me, 'if you see the same person every morning on the platform, and maybe quite often sit opposite them on the train, you might start to just nod to each other when you arrive, but that's as far as it goes.' 'How long is a "while"?', i asked. 'oh, maybe a year or so - it depends; some people are more outgoing than others, you know?' 'right', i said (wondering what definition of "outgoing" she could possibly have in mind). 'so, a particularly "outgoing" person might start to greet you with a nod after seeing you every morning for, say, what, a couple of months?' 'mmm, well, maybe' my informant sounded doubtful, 'but actually that would be a bit, um, forward - a bit pushy; that would make me a bit uncomfortable.'
this informant - a young woman working as a secretary for a PR agency in london - was not an especially shy or retiring person. in fact, i would have described her as quite the opposite: friendly, lively and gregarious. i am quoting her here because her responses are typical - almost all of the commuters i interviewed said that even a brief nod constituted a fairly drastic escalation of intimacy, and most were highly cautious about progressing to this stage, because, as another typical commuter explained, 'once you start greeting people like that - nodding, i mean - unless you're very careful, you might end up starting to say "good morning" or something, and then you could end up actually having to talk to them' [...]

[...] tea is still believed, by english people of all classes, to have miraculous properties. a cup of tea can cure, or at least significantly alleviate, almost all minor physical ailments and indispositions, from a headache to a scraped knee. tea is also an essential remedy for all social and psychological ills, from a bruised ego to the trauma of a divorce or bereavement. this magical drink can be used equally effectively as a sedative or stimulant, to calm and soothe or to revive and invigorate. whatever your mental or physical state, what you need is 'a nice cup of tea'.
perhaps most importantly, tea-making is the perfect displacement activity: whenever the english feel awkward or uncofortable in a social situation (that is, almost all the time), they make tea. it's a universal rule: when in doubt, put the kettle on. visitors arrive; we have our usual difficulties over greeting protocol. we say 'i'll just put the kettle on'. there is one of those uneasy lulls in the conversation, and we've run out of weather-speak. we say, 'now, who'd like more tea? i'll just go and put the kettle on'. a business meeting might involve having to talk about money. we postpone the uncomfortable bit by making sure everyone has tea. a bad accident - people are injured and in shock: tea is needed. 'i'll put the kettle on'. world war three breaks out - a nuclear attack is imminent. 'i'll put the kettle on' [...]

travels with herodotus

what a great book!

my first encounter with ryszard kapuscinski just totally drew me into his world. an amazing book blending a few of my favourite topics: travel, history, the modern and the ancient world, discovery. if you come accross it, read it!

one of my favourite parts...
"...For all intents and purposes, [such people] do not grow attached to anything, do not put down deep roots. Their empathy is sincere, but superficial. If asked which of the countries they have visited they like best, they are embarrassed - they do not know how to answer. Which one? In a certain sense - all of them. There is something compelling about each. To which country would they like to return once more? Again, embarrassment - they had never asked themselves such a question. The one certainty is that they would like to be back on the road, going somewhere. To be on their way again - that is the dream."

and yet another one of the many gems and anecdotes hidden in the book:

"...Croesus personally received Solon and ordered his servants to show him his treasures, and, certain that the sight of them astonished his guest, he queried him: "So I really want to ask you whether you have ever come across anyone who is happier than everyone else?"

But Solon did not flatter him in the least and instead cited as the happiest of men several heroically fallen Athenians, adding: "Croesus, when you asked me about men and their affairs, you were putting your question to someone who is well aware of how utterly jealous the divine is, and how it is likely to confound us. Anyone who lives for a long time is bound to see and endure many things he would rather avoid. I place the limit of a man's life at seventy years. Seventy years makes 25,200 days...No two days bring events which are exactly the same. It follows, Croesus, that human life is entirely a matter of chance...

"Now, I can see that you are extremely rich and that you rule over large numbers of people, but I won't be in a position to say what you're asking me to say about you until I find out that you died well...Until [a man] is dead, you had better refrain from calling him happy, and just call him fortunate...

"It is necessary to consider the end of everything...and to see how it will turn out, because the god often offers prosperity to men, but then destroys them utterly and completely."

best book i've read in a while

actually, the best book i've read in a very long while, should be years now. the kite runner. i have a natural tendency of reading the book first, without knowing that there's a movie lying around (like "about a boy". "high fidelity" etc), but i think that makes even the movie more enjoyable. in any case, it's a great story and also very well written. recommended.

η μεγάλη άμμος

ακόμα ένα πολύ καλό βιβλίο από τον αγαπημένο μου έλληνα συγγραφέα και το μοναδικό του οποίου έχω διαβάσει όλα τα έργα, το βαγγέλη ραπτόπουλο. μονορούφι σε 2μιση μέρες, εργάσιμες παρακαλώ. καλή ανάγνωση,

what i'm reading these days...

i guess i am in a toubled period, and i know that cos i am normally a non fiction person when it comes to reading. i prefer to read politics, history, economic and generally real stuff. however in order to do that i also need to have peace of mind, which i currently don't. that's why my last few books have been on fiction (although i am halfway through a book on math and one on schizophrenia - but have been on and off for quite a while with them).

i recently read "albatros" by soti trantafillou last month. good story but exagerrated book when it comes to adding the historical details in order to get the aura of that time (end of the 1800s - beginning of 1900s) in the book. you just cannot include every single historical detail of that era in the book from England of that time (from Jack the Ripper to the first steps of Churchill in politics, to the building of new bridges in London to the establishment of new newspapers and have all those people having an active part in the story). Too much for my taste, although the story was good, as said.

Then i read "thinks" by David Lodge, whom i'm generally fond of when it comes to this sort of fiction, can be read very pleasantly. After that i just moved on to "a short story of Tractors in Ukrainian" which i am half way through and am enjoying so far...

unfortunately i am running out of fiction at home. only one stephen king waiting for me next ("cell"), and the rest is pretty much non fiction on the list. any suggestions?